Participant in a Miscarriage Study on Facebook. Originally on Facebook 15 Feb. 2011
K. from England wrote “I’ve lost 3 babies in the past, I sunk into a depression after I lost the 1st baby and for me the 1st one was the most traumatic, I lost baby no1 14/2/07 and now it’s coming up that time of year I find it so hard to keep it together, I now have a beautiful 2year old I’m very blessed to have her, her due date was strangely 14/2/09 but she was not born on that day. I’m just interested to find out what this involves, the doctors told me I have tick blood and I had to take a small dose of aspirin during my pregnancy with my daughter, iv always wondered if that was the real reason I lost the babies. Thank you for taking the time to read this, hope to hear from you”
The miscarriage was unfortunate but it feels like it was a reality hit. I feel like K. was in a bubble before the miscarriage and then it was popped. The popping of the bubble was very sudden and shocking. It took K. time to overcome it and understand life as it really is. But I do feel it was very very necessary.
However I feel K. blames that fetus / miscarriage for the pain it caused. I feel more anger than pain. This amplifies the tragedy. I feel that K. mourns the death of the comfortable way of life at the same time she mourns the loss of the fetus.
I see the miscarriage and its consequential wake up as a positive thing. Otherwise K. would still be living in a dream world with all it’s difficulties. I see the miscarriage as an act of love from the soul as it made her who she is today. K. needs to release the anger towards the miscarriage and embrace the changes it caused. I don’t think she would have changed in any other way.
A.’s daughter was not born on the same day so not to associate one with the other. The thought that is coming into my head is that we first celebrate the difficulties (Old Testament – Moses bringing the Jews through the long difficult journey in Egypt) before we celebrate where it brought us (“The Promise Land”) Note: I am in no way an expert in the Old Testament, I may be wrong with what is written, but this is the vision I received. You mourn and remember the loss and then celebrate the beautiful birth / daughter that came out of it. And the woman / mother you have become.