Participant in a Miscarriage Study on Facebook. Originally posted in Facebook on 22 July 2011
V. from Ireland writes: I’ve had 2 miscarriages in 9 months. I lost our first baby on 13th of October 2010, I was 10 weeks, due for the 23rd of May 2011. I had a complete breakdown following the miscarriage, couldn’t understand why it happened to me. I found out I was pregnant again on the 24th of May 2011, the day after my due date. We were so happy, thought it was a wonderfully present from our Angel above. I lost our baby four weeks later, I was 8 weeks. I handled losing our baby al ot better this time but it still killed me inside. I just don’t understand why my two babies were taking from us. We thinks about them everyday, and it don’t hurt to talk about them anymore. We just wish they were with us. I hope I can be of some help with your study. Thank you
The first message I get is from Mother Nature. Mother Nature provides me with nutritional and physical information about the person. The body has great influence on the soul and temperament of people. It works together – body and soul – and also provide warning about each other. When there is something wrong with the body, illness or injury, often it is the soul giving us a red flag that something in our way of life has to change.
With V. the message I get is that she needs to start to take control over what she puts into her body. I feel she isn’t treating her body right. She doesn’t give it the respect it deserves. I feel she thinks that it can handle anything you provide it, but it can’t. It is not able to stand under the strain. It is unable to hold the babies. But I feel the issue is deeper than this. I will now channel the soul.
I am having a difficult time channeling V.. I feel she is pushing me out. Being defense and putting up shields. I feel that she can be friendly on the outside but very private and non-giving of herself inside. There is a side of V. that she will not show and is not willing to share with anyone. She hides this very well. And uses external methods to numb it [the body] so that it doesn’t hurt.
Her babies (I feel that they were two different souls) were trying to get in but she shut them out, both physically and mentally. They tried to break in but were bounced out. I feel like there are a bunch of souls waiting to see who can charge in and break down the wall (like an attack on the castle). Each is sure that it will make it. They are fighters, these souls, and need to be in order to break V. down. When one will get in and come to term, it will also battle with V. as a child in order for her to break down her walls and deal with whatever it is that she need to deal with.
My advice to V. is to first take control over your body. I don’t know what you are doing to it that is making it weak (although I think you do) but stop. I don’t think it will be as difficult as you think it will be and you have a partner in your partner (boyfriend).
I also feel that you should acknowledge your past and talk about it to others. They will not reject you. By talking about it you will begin to release it (but only begin because it will be a long process and your children will assist you in it). I also feel that you have an artistic / creative outlet. Use it, create with it, and spit the pain out. In this process you are opening the path and assisting souls to enter and stay within your body.
I feel that in this case the miscarriage comes from the fact that body and soul are hardened. I saw another case like this (case #12) where the woman had 5 children. But each soul had to fight its way in and is very strong. I think that V. has many life lessons to overcome (as we all) and will. I advise her to start by taking the first steps as recommended above to begin release herself, free her body and in turn, assist the souls to enter her life.
Thank you for participating and hope this helped. Please let me know if I can clarify anything for you.
Response from V. from Ireland
22/7/11 – Thank you so much for your reading, everything you’ve said is correct.
It was upsetting reading the part when you said I shut my babies out, both physically and mentally, because when I was pregnant I really did want my babies. But when I was first pregnant, I was always scared incase I lost it, and when I became pregnant the second time, miscarriage was always on my mind because of losing my first baby.
I suffered sexual abuse from a family member as a child and I still find it hard to deal with. I also come from a broken family and I haven’t spoken to my real father in over 10 years. When I was 15, I found out that I’ve an incurable disease, passed on my father. This disease causes polups to grow in my body and eventually turn to cancer. I attempted suicide when I was 15 because of the horrible life I’ve had. I had my bowel removed when i was 19 because of cancer. My surgeons told me that I will have more surgery in the future. I’m forever with my doctor or the hospital for this and that, its like i never get a break.
For the last few years, I’ve been drinking heavy to block out the pain. When drink don’t work, I cuts myself. First it started with my wrists when I was 15. But after my first miscarriage, I started cutting the inside of my thigh and my hips because no one would see them. I haven’t cut myself in 6 months now though. I just gets blow after blow and its eating away at me each time. I’m going to have to change though, especially after reading your reading. It’s killing me knowing that I’m to blame for pushing my babies away and I’m determined to change for them.
You were also spot on when you mentioned an artistic / creative outlet. I used to be an artist, have a love for paintings and drawing. I think I’ll have to go back painting, it’s a great reliever of stress and anger.
Thank you very much for all your help
My response to V. from Ireland: