Participant in a Miscarriage Study on Facebook. Originally Posted in Facebook on the 8th of August 2011
Tal from Israel writes: January 2010 – We decided to try a partial fertility method of counting the days of ovulation. We said that if by chance we get pregnant – then fine…
Uri [husband] had an operation this month and I was when writing my Master’s thesis. I noticed that my period was late. I remember that on Friday morning, before I came to visit him in hospital I went to the doctor. It seemed that I was pregnant but since there was a bit of spotting it was not clear. The doctor told me to do a blood test on Tuesday.
Uri came home from the hospital and things revolved around his recovery. On Tuesday morning I went to do the blood test. Afternoon we sat in the yard and I remember that suddenly I felt very strong flow; I ran to the bathroom and saw I that I was bleeding heavily. I talked with the family doctor, he said to come in to get a referral for the emergency room. So we drove.
On the way to the clinic we passed by the house and I remember looking at the house concerned. Molly [cat] already knew how to use the cat door and I was worried about him while we were away. We arrived at the Woman’s E.R. at hospital that only a few days ago we left after Uri’s surgery. And here we were back again. While we were waiting Shay (my brother) sent a text message, “When are you coming back? I need to talk to you.” I did not tell him we were driving to the hospital and so I called to see what he wanted. He insisted that we talk when we returned. I tried to explain that I do not know when we will get back, probably very late.
-“What did you want to talk about?”
-“Not on the phone, we’ll talk when you return.”
We hung up but I could let it go. I phone again.
-“The cats? Is it Dumbo?”
– “No, Molly, he died, he was run over …”
Uri and I burst into tears. Molly, our baby, was still so young. Sweet cat , spoiled, he was like a naughty child. I was so attached to him, we really connected. He was my baby. The visit with the doctor moved quickly, he said it was a full miscarriage. Suddenly we noticed that we were on the way back home, and we broke into pieces. We went to see Molly for the last time. That night we hardly did not sleep and had very confusing dreams. The next morning we buried him under an olive tree. It was very sad …
When I feel that Tal was then a bit preoccupied with her cats. It feels like an emotional bridge to babyhood. I also feel that she is giving all her love to the cats instead of dealing with other issues regarding love that is bothering her. I feel that she is not fulfilled emotionally so she looks to the cats to give her that emotional satisfaction.
In addition I feel that she needs the cats to prove to herself, and/or someone else (although I am not sure who – maybe her mother) that she does have the capacity to take care of another human being, or in this case, cats. This is common with people. Many see cats and dogs as their children before or in place of real babies. And therfore the fact that both Molly the cat and the fetus died at the same time makes it even more confusing and complicated in the search for an explanation since the two issues are intertwined.
I feel that the death of the cat was to show the young couple that you cannot just “maybe” get pregnant. There is a lot of responsibility in having a child. It is not like taking care of cats. I think that after this experience the young couple took the issue of getting pregnant more seriously. Did they really want it at this time or should they wait. When they finally did decide to have a child, the soul returned and planted itself firmly in its mother’s womb. It was decisive, just like its parents were.
Tal gave birth to a healthy girl in Spring 2011.