Michal from Israel wrote “The miscarriage occurred in the 12th week, pregnancy 3. I wanted [the baby], my partner did not but let it happen. Conception occurred even at an intimate weekend without the girls [daughters], something rare in our relationships. Then after I began to be tired and weak from the pregnancy and therefore less available for intimacy with my partner, the difficulty between us intensified and he expressed his opposition to the pregnancy. For me it was a difficult experience because previous pregnancies were agreed and desirable for us.
Two weeks before the miscarriage I went to the Shakti (women) festival and there I experienced a powerful workshop with healing oils where one of the participants underwent an [spiritual] energy cleansing from abuse she experienced as a baby from her father. It touched something sensitive within and caused me to cry (I’m not a crier!) And when I returned from the festival I could not let my partner touch me, I felt that my womb carried a son and I had greatly rejected and objected this. Of course it intensified the marital difficulties and my partner did not understand me at all.
The day before the miscarriage I picked up a hitchhiker in on the way from work. A man in a military uniform, an adult that requested to come to my home because he was very thirsty, and when he was in the garden said the Gilboa [mountains] had no dew or rain and I felt he was cursing us. The girls also saw him and Shelva [one of the girls] had a nightmare that night that the house was on fire and I felt that he was like an angel of death.
That morning I felt I could not bear my husband’s resistance and if soul that is coming, which I felt was a son, wanted to end it’s journey with us then I release it, not that I do not want it – but if the situation is too difficult for it. A few hours later, at noon, I began to have stomach pains, my water broke and bleeding. Immediately I realized it was miscarriage. It took two days of bleeding and finally I went to the hospital underwent curettage. The anesthesiologist said he was not clear when the miscarriage occurred and whether it was recently. I had a hard time with the loss and exactly one year after the miscarriage (the year but – at the end of the year I was once again at the Shakti Festival where I participated in workshop for healing miscarriages and I felt that I made closure) and got pregnant again.
Questions I have – Was there a son in my womb and why did he / she chose not to come?
Is my baby that same soul or another? Was the hitchhiker was an ordinary person or really a messenger of death? Where does my difficulty men stem from and is it connected to abuse (of which I have no memory)? What message does the miscarriage carry for me?
Thanks and good luck
Michal is very spiritual woman who sees far beyond her age. The hitchhiker was not the messenger of death but rather an angel with great power who brought into the house the extra energy needed in order for Michal to be able to bring about the wanted miscarriage. Michal needed the miscarriage to help her overcome her fears, insecurities, and desire to have some control on what is happening in her life.
The babies in both instances, and no I do not feel it is the same soul because the first soul had a job / task to do in bringing Michal to where she was spiritually and it finished its task with its removal, came to Michal in the insistence of some very high spiritual guides who see the need to show Michal what she is worth and what she could be doing with her life and powers. It is no coincidence that during the festivals she underwent an incredible experience; it was just part of the process.
The male issue has more to do with male dominant control that Michal allows them to have over her and her instance to show the world that women are stronger. The control over men (male fetus and husband) is one of the live lessons Michal has to overcome and is still overcoming in her life. Michal, you need to stop being fearful of men and start embracing them as the weaker and second part of yourself.
Michal you have demonstrated the power over the fetus and our control over our own bodies. At the same time you show how we still believe that we have no control over our environment and what occurs to us even when it is so obvious. You need to discover you skills as a witch, you power as a women, and the proper place of men in your and your daughters’ lives. The new baby in your life is slightly masculine (tom boy?) and will introduce you to and help you deal with the male issues in your life (which I do not believe stem from abuse but something controlling in a past life). Let her do her magic without interference while at the same time continue to explore your craft as a witch.
Thank you for sharing your incredible journey with us and I look forward to seeing how your future unfolds.
Noa Gal Efron
Thank you on the explanation and comments. It was very interesting and exciting to read and I still need time to understand its meaning….